Hall And Oates Are Suing An Artisanal Brooklyn Granola Company Over ‘Haulin’ Oats’

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Because Page Six already beat me to the “they won’t go for that” joke, I’ll just say that Daryl Hall and John Oates really must not be fans of granola. The musical duo known as Hall & Oates are suing a Brooklyn hipster company that sells “artisanal granola” over a trademark infringement claiming that one of their granola flavors, “Haulin’ Oats” is a play on their famous name.

According to the Early Bird website, the makers of the granola, Haulin’ Oats is made with rolled oats and maple syrup, and is “perfect by itself or as the base for a breakfast parfait creation.”

“The name and mark Haulin’ Oats is an obvious play upon Plaintiff’s well-known Hall & Oates mark, and was selected by defendant in an effort to trade off of the fame and notoriety associated with the artist’s and plaintiff’s well-known marks,” the suit states.

The Haulin’ Oats line — which runs $27 for a three pack — is touted as a “small-batch” offering that had one customer swearing that they’ll “never eat anything else again.”

Other than the fact that they’re charging $27 for granola, if I was a celebrity, I think I would be flattered if someone named fancy granola after me. Thanks to the teenage German self-harmers who have suddenly started to follow me on Instagram, I’m now aware that my last name means “carve” or “cut” in German. So, something like “Steel Ritzen Oats,” maybe? Eh? I’ll see myself out.