Did you read about wizards wizarding their feces away in the Harry Potter universe when Pottermore saw fit to overshare that information last month? It isn’t only the official Harry Potter Twitter account revealing things nobody asked about. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is also known to share things that were never mentioned in the book, sometimes garnering criticism when (for example) a main character like Albus Dumbledore is revealed to be gay even though it’s left out of the books and might or might not be left out of the Fantastic Beasts movies.
Rowling regularly reveals new details — like Fred being the oldest Weasley twin or Hagrid being unable to produce a patronus — in a way some might describe as slapdash:
Now a meme has picked up steam on Twitter, imagining other unsolicited facts about the Wizarding World that J.K. Rowling might share. The first hint of the meme appeared last year, when Twitter user @depressionne used a Don’t Say It meme to imagine Rowling retconning the books:
Within hours of Pottermore giving too much information about wizard constitutionals, the meme made a second appearance:
But these unsolicited Harry Potter facts really caught on in late January:
And soon other tweets followed, most of them landing squarely in nightmare fuel territory:
Dobby is packing heat. No, we mean actually packing heat. He keeps that thang on him. He’s a stone cold killer.
It turns out, Dobby has been keeping quite busy in the Wizarding World:
Dobby is a complicated free elf. But we were learning about more characters than just Dobby/Banksy. Prepare to have your mind blown with shocking twists and retroactive diversity:
People also learned an awful lot about everyone’s willy:
Like, yikes, Scoob.
And the facts just kept coming, whether we wanted them or not, with things occassionally touching on politics:
Well, that escalated quickly:
And sometimes it just goes too far:
(A tip of the sorting hat to Know Your Meme.)