New Fox News Golden Boy Jesse Watters Couldn’t Let His ‘Unblemished Record Of Heterosexuality’ Stop Him From Slobbering All Over Trump’s Mugshot: ‘He Looks Good And He Looks Hard’

On Thursday, Donald Trump scored yet another record: He became the first American president to get a mugshot. To some, it was a new low. To his base, it was a new high. While detractors dwelled on a former commander-in-chief being charged with trying to overturn an election, his supporters fell over each other trying to make it seem like a win. Few went as over-the-top as Fox News’ Jesse Watters.

“I am now going to book the Fulton County photographer for my Christmas card,” said Watters during Friday’s episode of The Five. “Because judge, and I say this with an unblemished record of heterosexuality, he looks good. And he looks hard.”

It’s perhaps the most emblematic moment of the Trump era: a homoerotic fit from someone also indulging in gay panic, over a guy whose best years are far, far behind him (and whose prowess gets mocked by someone who’s shared a bed with him).

Watters isn’t the only one in gross denial of Trump’s physical fitness. When arraigned, big guy himself claimed that he was 215 pounds — a line only the biggest, weirdest sycophants could ever believe.

Trump’s fourth indictment may do wonders for his polls, but it all may be for naught. Even conservative legal scholars have begun arguing that even without a guilty verdict he’s ineligible to run for president again thanks to that whole inspiring an insurrection thing.