Johnny Depp Took The Witness Stand To Colorfully Detail The Allegation That Amber Heard Pooped In His Bed

Johnny Depp is expected to take the stand again this morning for the third day in a row as he testifies about his violent and volatile relationship with fellow actor Amber Heard, which began in 2012 and ended just over year after they got married in February 2015. But it’s hard to imagine that anything the three-time Oscar nominee could say today or at any further point in the defecation defamation trial, which Depp brought against his ex-wife, could be any more bizarre than the Pirates of the Caribbean star testifying about Heard allegedly pooping on his side of the bed.

The comments came on Wednesday, as Depp discussed the final days of the couple’s ill-fated marriage, which came shortly after Heard’s 30th birthday in April 2016. Shortly thereafter, when Depp knew his estranged wife was out of town, he had planned to go to their penthouse to collect some of his personal belongings, but was advised against it by one of his security guards. When Depp pushed to know the reason why, he was sent a photo of the current state of their home, which—as The Wrap reports—included a pile of supposedly human poop where he slept.

Depp struggled to find the words to describe what he saw, but ultimately settled on it being “absurd and grotesque and cruel.” When asked to describe what he saw in the picture, the actor chose his words carefully again, but confirmed that “it was human fecal matter.” Depp admitted that his initial response to the situation was to actually laugh. “It was so outside; it was so bizarre and so grotesque that I could only laugh,” he said.

Of course, Depp’s lawyer wasn’t about to let that nugget just dangle, so she pressed further, forcing the actor to come up with some colorful—and, frankly, hilarious—ways of describing the turd. Among some of the more choice phrases? That “someone dropped a grumpy” and explaining how Heard attempted to blame the “fecal delivery” on her two dogs. When asked why he didn’t think it could have been the dogs, Depp explained: “They’re teacup Yorkies. They weigh about four pounds each.”

“I lived with those dogs,” Depp added. “I’ve picked up their… fun. It was not the dogs.”

Heard’s legal team began their cross-examination of Depp just about 20 minutes before calling it a night, so the actor is expected to be back on the stand again first thing this morning—where “the human fecal matter” will undoubtedly be revisited. And help explain why #AmberTurd is trending.

You can watch part of Depp’s testimony above.