I feel like eggnog is one of those things that if you dilute it with enough bourbon or rum, it’s kind of OK. I mean, it’s got booze in it then and booze makes everything better of course. But on its own, eggnog is just kind of like drinking pancake batter and I just don’t see how drinking something with the consistency of pancake batter can possibly be good for you.
Case in point, a Utah man name Ryan Roche (amazingly no connection to Ryan Lochte) landed himself in the hospital for three days after a holiday office party eggnog chugging contest gone awry. Apparently Roche and his family were about to head out when Loche got goaded into sticking around for the chugging contest. On the line was a sweet Ruth Chris’s Steak House Gift card, and he only had to beat drinking a quart in 22 seconds.
Utah’s KSL5 reports:
“I just opened up my throat, didn’t even swallow,” he said. “I pretty much poured it down.” As the video shows, he drank a quart of eggnog in just 12 seconds, without taking a breath. “I got done, and I was gasping, I couldn’t breathe.”
Roche said he was coughing a lot as he headed home, but thought he would be OK. A couple of hours later, he wasn’t so sure. “I was pretty much shaking uncontrollably,” he said. “I was shaking so badly, I was nauseous, and my breathing became a pant.”
Shaking uncontrollably and panting? Sounds like there’s only one cure for that: more eggnog! Oh, unless you literally inhaled the eggnog in which case the cure is more likely hospital stuff.
He asked a friend in medical school to come over to his house and check on him. The friend took him to the hospital. Roche had aspirated the eggnog to his lungs and was essentially “dry drowning,” the doctors told him. “They pretty much had to wheelchair me in, double IV, oxygen, and hooked me up to what they call the nuclear weapon of antibiotics,” he said.
The liquid in his lungs was starting an infection. He spent 24 hours in intensive care with a fever, sweats and chills. “It was rough,” he said. “Eggnog: not ideal for the lungs.”
Yep, eggnog is not ideal for the lungs. I guess that’s a pretty good takeaway from this. Are we sure this guy isn’t related to Ryan Lochte? Like maybe their great-great-grandfathers had a huge falling out and one decided to add an “R” and drop the “T” to disassociate himself? I feel like that probably happened all the time back in the olden days.
So just keep in mind this season, drink your eggnog responsibly. As in, sipped with something preferably 80+ proof, just like the baby Jesus intended.
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(Via Reddit)