The MPR Raccoon Is Safe And Sound, So These Pictures And Jokes Aren’t Ruined

We held off on posting about the wall-scaling raccoon that’s become locally famous in Minnesota until we were sure she was safe and healthy. Good news on that front. The #MPRraccoon has been rescued and returned to nature, ready to steal donuts and phones, have her little mind blown by the intrinsic properties of cotton candy, inspire movie character designs, or whatever other shenanigans a raccoon is wont to do.

The saga of the MPRraccoon started on Monday, when this intrepid trash panda was spotted chilling in a niche in the wall of the Town Square building in St. Paul, Minnesota. The next day, Minnesota Public Radio picked up the story:

Office workers attempted to rescue her, but she escaped to the adjacent 25-story UBS Tower and began climbing, while employees with windows that didn’t open just had to watch her go and hope for the best:

Some people on Twitter didn’t want to deal with the heartbreak if the raccoon didn’t make it. Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn even offered a reward for her rescue:

Local news stations KARE11 and WCCO set up livestreams, and animal rescue workers set out wet cat food and traps on the roof. The raccoon started her descent:

But then she changed her mind and headed towards the roof instead, reaching the top early Wednesday morning:

Then we waited to hear if the story would have a happy ending. Luckily, the raccoon is now somewhere in the southwest suburbs of the Twin Cities.

A fitting music video was made to sum up the seemingly impossible mission:

People on Twitter were hype:

Although some folks maintained skepticism, lest the MPRraccoon turn out to be a milkshake duck in raccoon’s clothing:

People made photoshops [that raccoon is definitely going to steal The Rock’s leg], while others touted the unexpected benefits of Brutalist architecture:

Others posited some mind-blowing conspiracy theories:

“I respect raccoons because every person on the planet adores them and all they want to do is eat trash.” Truly an inspiration to us all.

Godspeed, little trash panda.

(Hat tip to MPR News, NPR, and Neatorama)