The dandiest legume known to mankind has apparently perished just in time for its parent company to cash in on The Big Game. Mr. Peanut, the mascot of bulk legume reseller Planters for more than a century, has apparently Charleston’d off this mortal coil, sparking an online reaction ripe for a Super Bowl ad.
On Wednesday, the official Mr. Peanut Twitter account changed its name to ‘The Estate of Mr. Peanut’ and tweeted out the bad news: the mascot that looks like it’s investigating a crime in the land of Veggie Tales had cracked the nut that is mortality.
It is with heavy hearts that we confirm that Mr. Peanut has died at 104. In the ultimate selfless act, he sacrificed himself to save his friends when they needed him most. Please pay your respects with #RIPeanut pic.twitter.com/VFnEFod4Zp
— Mr. Peanut (@MrPeanut) January 22, 2020
This death is especially sudden, as the fancy plant part had shown no signs of aging or illness, likely because it’s a giant foam peanut wearing a monocle. At the time of the tweet it was entirely unclear what a “selfless act” is and why it killed the nut salesman. We now know exactly what it meant: Mr. Peanut was given the clamps for a Super Bowl ad, which also happened to come out on the day it died.
We’re devastated to confirm that Mr. Peanut is gone. He died doing what he did best – having people’s backs when they needed him most. #RIPeanut pic.twitter.com/12PyWYJB7J
— Mr. Peanut (@MrPeanut) January 22, 2020
So Mr. Peanut died so that Matt Walsh and Wesley Snipes could live? Maybe. It takes a lot of core strength to pull your entire body weight up off a splintering tree branch and to safety here, so if we have to believe Mr. Peanut is a thing that can die I want to see realism in the rescue here to justify his sacrifice.
In any event, the tweet’s initial weirdness did get some good reactions online.
i’ll never forget your kindness, mr. peanut….this is a dark day….. https://t.co/Oh1tvXcTPv
— SungWon Cho (@ProZD) January 22, 2020
mr peanut was assassinated by the us government for attempting to achieve racial unity through his work with george washington carver. rip to a true ally
— Desus MF Nice💯 (@desusnice) January 22, 2020
wild that the security cameras pointed at his cell weren’t recording when mr. peanut died
— Katherine Krueger (@kath_krueger) January 22, 2020
i outlived mr peanut https://t.co/LsjTyhb8v2
— Mike Migdall (@ItsMigdallTime) January 22, 2020
These marketing IDIOTS think I’m gonna fall for their obvious ”Mr. Peanut is dead” ploy?
They’ll have a funeral for Mr. Peanut at the Super Bowl. Here’s the thing: he’s a nut (legume, I know, but still). His buried body will GROW more peanuts.
This is how the mascot reproduces.
— Ian Abramson (@ianabramson) January 22, 2020
Considering how every single brand known to man got in on the act, this is very clearly a marketing scheme of some sort that will rectify itself with Mr. Peanut’s resurrection on Super Bowl Sunday.
Gone, but not forgotten. pic.twitter.com/c6s7vSgEwi
— NASCAR (@NASCAR) January 22, 2020
There’s some (perhaps PR-guided) speculation that the dapper legume’s funeral will be the spot that airs during the Super Bowl, but here’s hoping the Planters Cinematic Universe believes in reincarnation and Mr. Peanut is brought back as someone with a peanut allergy. Perhaps it would make up for his many crimes.
is there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat
— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) August 29, 2013
Now there’s a movie I’d watch.