Donald Trump In A Bikini Was Too Horrifying Of A Sight For Stephen Colbert And ‘The Late Show’

Stephen Colbert returned to hosting The Late Show on Monday after testing positive for COVID (Taylor’s Version) last week. But he — and his team — might need to take a few months off after imagining Donald Trump in a bikini.

Ghoulish-looking Australian billionaire and “red-haired weirdo” Anthony Pratt reportedly overheard the former president ask his wife Melania to walk around the Mar-a-Lago pool in a bikini “so all the other guys could get a look at what they were missing.” She replied, “I’ll do that when you walk around with me in your bikini.” Credit where credit is due: solid zinger from Melania.

After playing the leaked audio of Pratt relaying Donald’s sleazy request, Colbert said, “Now, of course Donald Trump did not put on a bikini and walk around, but I asked my graphics department to mock up a photo of what that might look like. Let’s check in with them. How’s that photo going, guys?”

There’s no NSFW warning needed. Instead of showing Trump in a bikini, which should be no one’s Halloween costume, The Late Show played a clip from Aliens (Alien$) of a xenomorph victim asking the Marines to “please… kill me.”

You can watch Colbert’s Late Show monologue.