One of the highlights of 2016, as I barely remember it (people, the past two years have really been something), was when the Internet made the case that Ted Cruz may be the Zodiac Killer. I mean, c’mon. It will never not be funny that someone baselessly claimed that Cruz went on a tour of terror, years prior to his own 1970 birth, and it was such a harmless, preposterous meme that it was fine to run with it. After all, have you ever seen Cruz and the Zodiac Killer in the same place at the same time? I thought so.
Well, Cruz never denied being the Zodiac Killer, so I think you all know what I’m thinking about this. And it really came as quite a blow to learn that, this week, an independent cold-case group known as the Case Breakers said that they solved the Zodiac Killer’s identity. They believe that Gary Francis Poste, who died in 2018, is the actual serial killer who also inspired that David Fincher movie starring Robert Downey Jr. Well, the group based their claim on “forensic evidence and photos from Poste’s darkroom” and “scars on his forehead that similarly matches scars on a sketch of the Zodiac.” Also, Fox News quoted one of Poste’s former neighbors who was like, “[I]t all kind of makes sense now.”
Well, there’s probably chain-of-custody issues that will could prevent this new “evidence” from going anywhere. In fact, the FBI would not acknowledge the claims to CNN following an inquiry while declaring, “The Zodiac Killer case remains open. We have no new information to share at the moment.” And Ted Cruz, interestingly enough, decided to retweet coverage with a Dr. Evil GIF and no further commentary.
Oh c’mon, Ted. He’s loving the attention, obviously, and he previously joked (following his Cancun debacle), “Look, I haven’t had this much negative press coverage since Northern California in the 1960s.” Oh look, Ted tweeted an RDJ GIF, too.
Good day for Ted Cruz, I guess? It must be noted that a law enforcement spokesperson in Riverside County, California threw some cold water on the Case Breakers’ claim that Francis Poste also killed a woman (Cheri Jo Bates) in their jurisdiction (in addition to his known victims). The PD declared that Zodiac definitely did not kill Bates, so hmm, that’s quite a wrinkle in the Case Breakers’ whole argument. And the search for the Zodiac Killer continues… while Ted Cruz roams free.