The Wonder Woman TV Pilot Script Is… Um… Yeah.

BleedingCool snagged a copy of David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman TV pilot script and posted several spoiler-free details.  The full list is at their site, but I’ve waded through this mire taking occasional breaks to curl up into a ball and have a good cry then reward myself with ice cream.  Now I’m back with a short summary:

  • She has two alter egos plus her Wonder Woman identity (which she only brings out twice in the script).  As Diana Price she’s mousy and anonymous, and as Diana Themyscyra she’s the head of Themiscyra industries and everyone knows she’s Wonder Woman.  I’m so confused.
  • She sings along with the radio in “several scenes”, which is so much more entertaining for the audience than her busting some skulls, apparently.
  • She has a bevy of 20-something science nerds to help solve crimes, which makes total sense because, as we all know from watching TV, the best scientists are always attractive young people with no experience in their field (but they’ll have photographic memories probably so it’s cool).
  • Supposedly the phrase “You go, girl” is used.  If Diana didn’t defenestrate the person who said it I’m going to be displeased.
  • She’s still pining for the fjords Steve Trevor.
  • She “puts on her PJs for an ice-cream filled sleepover with best friend Myndi [Mayer].”

A sleepover.  With ice cream.  Hence the banner picture as well as the look on my face like David E. Kelley just kicked a Corgi.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to put on PJs and eat an entire pint of ice cream.