Tucker Carlson Debuted His New Twitter Show, Teeming With Conspiracy Theories About Ukraine, BLM Protests, 9/11, Aliens, And — Why Not! — The Assassination Of JFK

Tucker Carlson was fired by Fox News in late April, but props where’s it’s due: It took him less than a month-and-a-half to bow his first new show at his new home. (This probably violates his old contract, but that will surely be settled over a lengthy legal battle.) As threatened, the network’s former top star took his toys to Twitter, and on Tuesday he dropped the first episode of his new, social media-only program (or whatever you call it). From the looks of it, his viewers will have to settle for a shorter, less polished version of in old show, in a new, homier location that makes him seem less like an authority and more like a rando vomiting conspiracy theories from his basement.

The maiden episode barely had time for an introduction — just a simple “Hey, Tucker Carlson here” — before its host launched into an extended riff on Ukraine and the mysterious destruction of the Kakhova dam along the Ukraine-Russia border. Reporters on the ground are trying to untangle who’s really at fault, with both sides blaming the other.

Meanwhile Carlson — on the ground in Maine and recording from what looks like a spare room — of course blamed Ukrainian president Volodymr Zelensky. It was classic Tucker. He sarcastically called Zelensky “too decent for terrorism” before segueing into a meeting last month between him and Lindsey Graham, airing the same deceptively edited video played by hs fans on Russian State TV, albeit minus the part where someone calls for his assassination.

The episode ran 10 minutes, but it covered a lot of ground. At one point he does a kind of conspiracy theory bingo, name-dropping Jeffrey Epstein, BLM protests, 9/11, aliens, and — why not! — the assassination of JFK. He also repeatedly slammed trans people, natch.

And yet Tucker was noticeably low-energy, almost tired, as though weighed down by too many years of connecting dots that have no connection at all. Perhaps he’s just rusty after a several weeks off-air. Maybe he missed his old, better-looking set. (At one point you can hear someone off-screen, presumably a family member, loudly close a door.)

Even his usual refrain about being persecuted for just being curious seemed phoned-in:

If you’re wondering why our country seems dysfunctional, this is a big part of the reason. Nobody knows what’s happening. A small group of people control access to all relevant information, and the rest of us don’t know. We’re allowed to yap all we want about racism, but go ahead and talk about something that really matters, and see what happens. If you keep it up, they’ll make you be quiet. Trust us. That’s how they maintain control.

He concluded by praising his new digs — while signaling that it might not work out in the end. “As of today we’ve come to Twitter, which we hope will be the shortwave radio under the blanket. We’re told there’s no gate-keepers here,” he said. “If that turns out to be false we’ll leave. But in the meantime we’re grateful to be here.”

Watch, if you must, the debut episode of what appears to be called Tucker on Twitter in the tweet embedded above. May his base of older folks who’ve never cut their cable cords and don’t really use social media enjoy it.