A 30-year-old North Carolina woman fantasized about going blind since a young age. Jewel Shuping suffers from Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) and believes she was meant to be disabled. In 2006, she found a licensed doctor who was sympathetic to her desires. Shortly thereafter, she willingly destroyed her eyesight beyond repair. This story sounds too bizarre to be true, but all details point towards non-hoax territory.
Jewel spoke with Barcroft TV about her journey towards a lifelong dream. Her desire to go blind started at age 6. After her mother told her not to stare at the sun, Jewel would sneak as much time as possible staring at sunspots. During her teen years, Jewel learned braille and began a charade of wearing thick black sunglasses and using a cane to appear blind.
She also began doctor shopping and eventually found a “sympathetic” psychologist who agreed to help her achieve the dream. The process involved a numbing agent (which didn’t eliminate pain entirely) and “a couple of drops of drain cleaner in each eye.” Jewel explained what she felt:
“My eyes were screaming and I had some drain cleaner going down my cheek burning my skin. But all I could think was ‘I am going blind, it is going to be okay.'”
Other doctors tried to save Jewel’s eyesight, but it was too late. The damage was done, although Jewel describes feeling “enraged” upon waking up the next morning and still being able to see. Over the next six months, her vision deteriorated until she suffered “a corneal meltdown” in one eye and glaucoma in the other. Jewel has no regrets and is “so happy,” but she hopes her story will help others with the same desires:
“Don’t go blind the way I did. I know there is a need but perhaps someday there will be treatment for it. People with BIID get trains to run over their legs, freeze dry their legs, or fall off cliffs to try to paralyse themselves. It’s very very dangerous. And they need professional help.”
Jewel also keeps a Twitter account where she occasionally reports the difficulties of being blind.