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ANATOMY 101 WITH CHERYL COLE

JAKE GYLLENHAAL’S AWFUL CAREER MOVE

By / 05.21.08

The only thing I hate worse than Jerry Bruckheimer movies are movies based on video games.  Prince of Persia is like a frankenstein turd of the two, and now E! is reporting that Jake Gyllenhaal will play the lead.

Donnie Darko, Jarhead, Zodiac, makin’ out with Heath Ledger – he was right on the cusp of respected actorhood, and now this.

Joining Gyllenhaal in the fantasy adventure epic is upcoming Bond babe Gemma Arterton. The blue-blooded duo join forces to prevent their royal foe from obtaining the Sands of Time, a gift bequeathed  from the gods [hehe, God queefed. -Ed.] which allows its possessor to turn back time and, naturally, rule the world.

Sounds fascinating.  Was Brendan Fraser busy or something?  Sidenote:  According to IMDB, Jake Gyllenhaal fans refer to themselves as "Gyllenhaalics".  Additional Sidenote:  Jerry Bruckheimer fans refer to their age as "this many", while attempting to display the corresponding number of fingers. 


TAGSHOMOPHOBIC TURTLEJake GyllenhaalJERRY BRUCKHEIMERPEOPLE I WOULD FIGHTprince of persia

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