REVENGE ASSAULT COMPLETES ROAD TRIP
DAVID BECKHAM IS A CHUMP

JABBA THE PUTZ GOES TO WASHINGTON

By / 06.26.08

George Lucas was on Capitol Hill Tuesday, and since congress is full of dorky old white guys, he felt right at home – or at least, as right at home as is possible for a borderline autistic. Lucas was in town to call for a free, "third internet" solely for educational use. Everyone promptly ignored that and asked him stupid questions about Star Wars.

[Lucas] was totally nonpartisan when it came to President Bush, declining to weigh in on our question: “Who is President Bush more like: Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader?”
“It’s up to the viewer,” he responded.
And, of course, we had to ask him what he thinks of Vice President Dick Cheney’s nickname — “Darth Vader.”  Although Lucas wouldn’t say whether it was an accurate description of the veep, he did say that Cheney “seems to like” the nickname.
Lucas did, however, have one definitive answer: Barack Obama would most certainly be a Jedi. “I would say that’s reasonably obvious,” he said.  [Examiner]

And naturally, the day wouldn’t be complete without our congressional representatives doing their best to look like Class-A douchenozzles. 

"The universal service fund needs to be blown up like the Death Star," said Pennsylvania Republican Mike Doyle.
"Rick Boucher and I are the Luke Skywalkers riding in to save the universal service fund by those who want to destroy it, the Darth Vaders," Rep. Terry said of his USF bill.
"The e-rate became law when Congress enacted it as part of the Telecom Act, and we’ve defended it with political light sabers ever since," said subcommittee chairman Edward Markey, a Democrat from Massachusetts.

Then after 25 minutes of spirited photo ops, Lucas joined reps at the congressional social club, where they ate endangered caviar out of a giant trough and wiped their dirty faces with crumpled piles of your money. 


TOPICS#Star Wars
TAGSCONGRESSD-BAGSEVIL GENIUSESGeorge Lucas

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