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JERRY BRUCKHEIMER STILL SOULLESS, EVIL

By 01.27.09

The poster for Jerry Bruckheimer’s Prince of Persia will appear inside Jerry Bruckheimer’s Confessions of a Shopaholic as background ads in Time Square, alongside ads for Jerry Bruckheimer’s G-Force, Jerry Bruckheimer brand colostomy bags and Jerry Bruckheimer douche nozzles.  Okay, I may have made up those last two.

“It’s funny because I was watching the movie and we had ads for other films and I said, ‘Why don’t we put our own movies in here.’ It’s kind of silly to promote someone else’s movies.” [LatinoReview]

Touché, Jerry, touché. Bruckheimer went on to say:

* Prince of Persia (adapted from the video game) will definitely have parkour (seriously)
* He’s making a third National Treasure,
* He’s excited about The Sorcerer’s Apprentice with Jay Baruchel and Nic Cage
* Johnny Depp will play Tonto in a Lone Ranger movie, which will definitely have “a supernatural element to it”
* G-Force will be about talking guinea pigs but will have “something for everybody”

The interviewer was about to ask him about Pirates IV, when a slimy, morey eel-like creature sprang from Bruckheimer’s mouth and devoured the interviewer whole.  He vomited up a puddle of foul-smelling black sludge before heading to a script meeting for CSI: Miami.


TAGSG-FORCEJERRY BRUCKHEIMERLONE RANGERnic cagePARKOURprince of persiaSORCERERS APPRENTICE

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