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HEY A-HOLES, MOVIES AREN’T ROLLER COASTERS

By 03.17.09

“STOP KICKING MY SEAT!”

D-Box technologies is rolling out a new system that will shake your movie seat to coincide with the action onscreen, which is an awesome idea if you’re four years old or live in 1955.

According to the system’s inventor, D-Box Technologies, Motion Code is “perfectly synchronised with all onscreen action, creating an unmatched realistic, immersive experience.”
The first cinematic release to ‘benefit’ from the D-Box experience is Fast & Furious, at just two cinemas: the Mann Chinese 6 in Hollywood, California, and UltraStar Surprise Pointe 14 in Surprise, AZ. [TechRadar]

Sweet, maybe it’ll shake me awake when Paul Walker tries to act. Or perhaps they could adapt the technology to animate Nic Cage’s forehead. Seriously though, people forget they already tried all this stupid crap 50 years ago. It didn’t catch on then either, because the whole point of movies is that you can be entertained for two hours relatively cheaply.  And another thing, I’m sick of everyone calling Bruckheimer and Bay movies “roller coasters” and “thrill rides.”  Just tell me a goddamned story you a-holes, stop trying to make me motion sick.


TAGS4 FAST 4 FURIOUSD-BOX TECHNOLOGIESJERRY BRUCKHEIMER

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