I first reported the development of a Smurfs movie a couple months ago, a planned live-action/CGI mix a lá Alvin and the Chipmunks (or Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakwel). Today, bat-like EW correspondent Michael Ausiello uncovered some more news about the plot from a casting call, and it doesn’t sound at all like the Smurfs I remember. Here are the roles being cast:
SOPHIE: A pre-teen girl who possesses enormous smarts and great imagination, but who is socially and physically clumsy. She discovers that the doll her dad brought home from Belgium is actually a living, breathing Smurf. And not just any Smurf — Clumsy Smurf! Sophie tries to get her mom and dad to embrace Clumsy as a member of the family, but ultimately realizes what he really wants is to reunite with his fellow Smurfs.
SAM: Sophie’s 15-year-old brother. He’s a good kid, but has a tendency to be difficult and withdrawn. He gets involved in helping Clumsy return home and, as a result, bonds with his sister.
What the hell? So instead of Smurf village we get two special-needs retards and E.T.? Unless they cast Charley the Retarded Cat as Sophie and include a dance party scene set in McDonald’s, I’m not interested. (But seriously though, a cat with poor motor skills plus a Smurf plus a dance party at McDonald’s? This needs to happen).