By: 08.05.09

Usually Robert Rodriguez is pretty uncreative when he’s casting a movie. “Eh, I’ll just stick my slutty girlfriend in it,” he’s fond of saying.  But Variety recently reported on the actors in line for Machete, which began production this week, and it’s like all my most feverish coma fantasies come true!

  • Danny Trejo
  • Robert De Niro
  • Jessica Alba
  • Michelle Rodriguez
  • Steven Seagal
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Don Johnson
  • Cheech Marin
  • Jeff Fahey

I don’t know how they ever got insured — with Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez on the same set, they’ll have enough Latin machismo to power 1000 lowriders.   I also hear that craft services won’t be offering any food, just cigarettes and Eagles records.

(NSFW for brief nudity at 1:41 – 1:45)

Around The Web