This is the first full-length trailer for Black Lightning, which has way less black people in it than Black Dynamite. Produced by Wanted‘s Timur Blackmambatov and directed by Alexandr Voitinsky and Dmitriy Kiselev, it looks pretty good for a reported $8 million budget. The trailer is in Russian without subtitles, but from the looks of it, the plot’s pretty close to Transformers. The main guy, we’ll call him Shia LaBovnik, sees a hot girl. Naturally, he wants to impress her by having an awesome car, but his dad buys him old sh-tbox instead, probably because he’s poor. Luckily, the sh-tbox turns out to be magic, and when the fight between good and evil comes to Earth, the hottie will be glad she chose the doofus with the magic sh-tbox and not the first greasy stud to roll down her block in an IROC like my mom did. Then there’s a lot of flying and magic and yelling and explosions. And as the trailer ended, Michael Bay stood up to give an impassioned speech about how if he can change, and you can change, we all can change, and then he pulled up Megan Fox’s skirt to flash everybody and everyone cheered.