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LA Mall to be scene of massive Avatard orgy

By / 04.15.10

The Grove mall in L.A. is about to host a massive Avatar event, and I don’t think anyone involved in the planning has been to an Avatard forum to realize what a terrible, irresponsible idea this is.

Lucky shoppers at LA’s The Grove on April 16th won’t have to put in nearly as much effort to look like the blue citizens of Pandora when an interactive Avatar exhibit goes live at the outdoor shopping venue.

The event, which is designed to celebrate the DVD and Blu-ray release of Avatar — due at retailers on Earth Day, April 22nd [Seriously, Earth Day? -Ed.]– is co-sponsored by Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and Inwindow Outdoor. It will feature state-of-the-art facial recognition technology that will turn fans into characters from the film in real-time.

The exhibit will be a 60′ x 10′ freestanding, decorated structure encircling the main statute at The Grove and will feature three “morphing stations.” As shoppers approach, the cutting edge facial recognition technology will lock in and transform them instantly into the blue-skinned creatures from the film.  Once done, users can enter their email address through a touch-screen and have video of their transformation emailed to them. [Cinematical]

Jesus, this thing might as well read “CALLING ALL WEIRDOS: COME TO THE GROVE MALL AND MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS OF FREAKY BLUE CAT SEX COME TRUE WHILE WE RECORD IT FOR YOU TO MASTURBATE TO LATER.”

MALL WORKER: Okay, guys, now if you’ll just step into the morphing station for me, we can let the advanced facial recognition software do its wor– OH MY GOD!

*two 400-pound Avatards have stripped down to nothing and begun making cat noises*

AVATARD 1: Reer!  Reer!  *caresses giant stomach with leaf he found outside*

AVATARD 2: Ffft, fft.  Hisss!

AVATARD 1: I see you!

AVATARD 2: I see you!

TOGETHER:  REEEEEEER!

*AVATARD 1 sticks AVATARD 2’s ponytail in his ass, both of them begin to masturbate furiously*

MALL WORKER vomits lunch into nearby trash can.

…And that’s the story of how I accidentally started writing Avatard fan fiction.


TAGSAVATARAvatardsNAAVI

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