This morning I woke up with tequila breath, my girlfriend knocked up, and a tattoo of a topless mariachi girl on my chest and I wondered why, and it turns out there’s a new Machete trailer out. I guess with the Robert-Rodriguez-produced, Danny-Trejo-starring Predators out in theaters today, it was a perfect time to advertise the Rodriguez co-directed (along with his editor, Ethan Maniquis) Machete.
The new trailer has all the bike-mounted-chain-gun action of the first trailer with 100% more Mexican wrestling masks. And of course appearances by all of the all-star cast — Robert DeNiro, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, and Michelle Rodriguez in her eye patch and bra. At first I was a little intimidated at the sight of Michelle Rodriguez in a bikini, but ever since a Tijuana medicine man made me these rosary beads out of rattlesnake bones, I just rub them and it calms me. He gave me the title “El Gringo Joto”, which I think must be a pretty big honor over there.