I know this story might not have the greatest repercussions to the world of film, but I couldn’t not talk about Takeru Kobayashi pulling a Zoolander yesterday. Joey “Jaws” Chestnut won the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest, but then Kobayashi, who wasn’t competing, got arrested trying to storm the stage during the award ceremony as if hot dog eating was a matter of national security. “What the hell is going on? Am I on mescaline?” I imagine witnesses asking.
“Let him eat! Let him eat!” the crowd chanted as police handcuffed the man dubbed “The Tsunami.” Kobayashi, 32, did not enter this year because he refused to sign a contract with Major League Eating, the fast-food equivalent of the NFL. On his Japanese-language blog, he said he wanted to be free to compete in contests sanctioned by other groups. [WashingtonPost]
Time out. Competitive eating has an NFL now? When did this happen? This is not a sport, this is something you do on a dare. “Make way, everyone! Here comes the Muhammad Ali of wasabi snorting! In all my years of covering puffy bunny, I’ve never seen anything like this! They say he’s the Lebron James of professional fart lighting!”
The altercation came moments after Chestnut put away 54 dogs and buns and coasted to victory. Chestnut relished his win [I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!], despite falling far short of his own world record of 68.
“I came out here, I knew what I had to do. It’s Fourth of July, I was just having fun, eating hot dogs,” said Chestnut, clutching the famed Mustard Yellow Belt he successfully defended again. [NY Post]
HE WAS JUST HAVING FUN OUT THERE. LIKE A KID. EATING HOT DOGS. JUST TRYING TO TAKE IT ONE HOT DOG AT A TIME. I GIVE IT UP TO MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST FOR MIRACLING ALL THOSE HOT DOGS DOWN MY F*CKING THROAT.
After spending a night in jail, Kobayashi was charged with resisting arrest, trespassing and disorderly conduct. The judge released him without bail. He has to show up in court next month.
Kobayashi wore a black T-shirt emblazoned with the words “Free Kobi” across the front as he walked out of court in Downtown Brooklyn. Maggie James, Kobayashi’s translator and publicist explained outside of court today: “Everyone started chanting for me, ‘Let him eat, let him eat,’ and he said, and in the heat of it [he] jumped on the stage hoping that maybe because of the cheering Nathans would actually let him eat and prove that he was the champ, but then he got arrested.” [NBC New York]
Maybe it’s just me, but I found this to be one of the more bizarre news stories of the last year. On a side note, I think a hairless, slightly-built Asian man famous for wolfing down wieners is probably the absolute last person I’d want to be in prison.