Remember Montana Fishburne’s co-star in her first adult movie? You know, the one they filmed before her contract with Vivid was announced? His name is Brian Pumper and he’s an aspiring rapper. In addition to his Jay-Z diss song, he also provided the titular rhymes in Phatties, Rhymes, and Dimes 14. (Heh, “titular.”) Well, let me be the first to tell you that MOTHER OF GOD, THE LYRICS ARE INCREDIBLE.
(However, they’re probably too explicit for the main page, so join me below for the fun.)
I don’t want this story to get me in any more trouble than it already has, so I’m not linking the source for this. But let’s just say that if one went to a highly NSFW site that whose name rhymes with “Schmorn Hub”, and one searched for “Chippy D (Montana Fishburne)”, the only search result would be the video in question. That video. 2:30 mark. These lyrics. I swear I’m not making this up.
“Let me lick it from the back, with ya back arched. Let me get that monkey fufu (?) wet and make it fart.”
Ummmm…. Did he just refer to a woman’s genitals as a “monkey fufu?” And is he saying that he would inject it with flatulence? In case there was any doubt, here’s the next line.
“Make it drive, make it queef, make that thing fart. Make it squirt, make it burp, girl I’m off the charts.”
Wow. I’m nearly speechless. Let’s see Tennyson find a rhyme for “queef.”
[Thanks to the incomparable Joe King for discovering this]