Considering there’s been a shot of Kevin James looking like a regular Tommy Tapout at just about every UFC event in recent memory, it’s not surprising that he’s doing an MMA-themed movie. The film doesn’t yet have a title yet, but might I suggest “Round and Pound?” Ouch. It hurt me on the inside to type that. (*sprawl and bawl*). Wait, he also plays a teacher? “The Dean of Mean”, maybe? (*hangs self with Nick Ring’s loose knee ligamenttth*)
Catch me in a rear-naked sadness bar, Deadline:
James is attached to play a physics teacher whose school faces drastic cutbacks. In an attempt to save his best friend’s job and the music program his students love, he moonlights in the octagon as a mixed martial arts fighter, ultimately leading to brawling in the UFC. [Deadline]
MMA saves the rec center… AGAIN! How long did it take to come up with this concept? Five, six minutes? Look, I don’t expect you to have seen an Allan Loeb movie or be a die-hard MMA fan like me, but having suffered through both 21 and The Switch and heard the pitches for Loeb’s next few movies, believe me when I say that Allan Loeb and Kevin James teaming up for an MMA movie is like being in the middle of a nice dinner when a hobo comes in and de-lices his ball hair with my fork. If there isn’t a scene where Kevin James cries because the schoolkids hide his pie while he’s cutting weight, I will drink Lyoto Machida’s pee**.
**I’m kidding. (Just in case Kevin James’ friend Rampage sees this and decides to take me up on the offer)