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Naked, screaming hooker found in Charlie Sheen’s closet

By 10.26.10

Two-and-a-half-men-dwarf-sheen

By now you’ve no doubt heard about Charlie Sheen being rushed to the hospital by his ex-wife this morning, but I’m just going to pile onto this gangbang like one of Charlie Sheen’s hookers.  Turns out our country’s highest-paid TV star and leading ugly shirt wearer was found coked up and naked in a trashed hotel room, and was taken to a hospital accompanied by his ex-wife, Denise Richards, who was staying at the same hotel.  Other highlights:

Sheen’s representative says the actor was taken to a hospital after an allergic reaction to medication. The spokesman, Stan Rosenfield, said Sheen is expected to be released Wednesday.

That medication?  Uncle Twitchy’s Famous Throat & Nostril Anaesthetic. (It’s the wonder powder!)

Security at the Plaza Hotel on Fifth Avenue called 911 around 2 a.m. where they found the actor who appeared highly intoxicated, sources said.  Richards accompanied Sheen to New York/Presbyterian Hospital, according to reports. Sheen was reportedly in New York on a family vacation. [CBSNewYork]

That family vacation?  The kind where you leave your wife at home and hang out with hookers:

The police found a half-naked Charlie passed out on the bed and a naked woman, who was identified as an escort, screaming from inside the closet. [LifeandStyle]

My exclusive sources say a Two and a Half Men marathon came on TV and Sheen had passed out on top of the remote.  Thank God for the heroic actions of police, who were able to get her out of there before she was forced to endure more canned laughter through the door.

"Are we through here? I've got six coked-up whores in my loft."

"Are we through here? I've got six coked-up whores in my loft, if ya catch my drift."


Mini-Update: Apparently his little “family vacation” (*taps nostril*) has been going on for weeks.


TAGSCharlie SheencocaineDENISE RICHARDSEXCUSES TO MAKE FUN OF TWO AND A HALF MENHOOKERSSERIOUSLY THAT SHOW SUCKS

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