I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say that the following story miiiight not be true. But seeing as how it involves a short film, it is my duty to cover it. Hey, don’t kill the messenger.
A report has just broken out about a rumored sex tape between Academy Award-winner Sandra Bullock and motorcycle mogul Jesse James. Here’s a graphic report of what can be seen in that video, according to Showbiz Spy:
The alleged tape reportedly includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler mustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s bottom with a shotgun in his left hand. [DailyInquirer]
Hey, wasn’t this one of the deleted scenes from The Proposal? Oh, and for future reference, if you stick a finger in a girl’s butt and then wipe it on her upper lip to give her a poopy Hitler ‘stache, it’s called a “Dirty Steinwiess.” If you do it while singing show tunes, it’s a “Dirty Sondheim.”
UPDATE: I didn’t feel like I needed any facts to assume this wasn’t true (I actually thought it was an April Fool’s post), but if you want them, my older brother site WWTDD does a pretty thorough job.