11.04.09 8 years ago 33 Comments

I’ve posted trailers for 12 Rounds and The Tooth Fairy, and just when I thought WWE’s movie projects couldn’t get any worse… THEY TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES!

[In “Knucklehead”], WWE Superstar, Paul “Big Show” Wight plays Walter Krunk, a 7-foot-tall, 440-pound naïve giant who was raised in the St. Thomas Orphanage and never left – until he takes to the road with Eddie and Mary.

Shortly after Eddie loses his new fighter and finds himself $50,000 in debt to longtime nemesis and bookie Memphis Earl (DENNIS FARINA), he discovers Walter, a bumbling life-long resident of the orphanage-turned-handyman with his own debt problems: The kitchen fire Walter caused will close down the church’s orphanage in a week unless he comes up with $50,000. Upon overhearing Walter’s predicament, Eddie convinces the no-nonsense head nun, Sister Francesca (WENDY MALICK) that Walter can win the $100,000 grand prize at the tournament to pay off the church’s debts. But in order to do so, he will need to take Walter on the road, enter amateur fights along the way, and teach him how to become a real fighter. [via WWE Corporate via MMAMania]

That’s right, a retarded giant fights MMA in order save the church orphanage – PLUS – no Cam Gigandet.  It might be the world’s most perfect premise. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that the exact phrase “retard MMA” has appeared in the FilmDrunk comments section no less than 34 times, the first going back to December 2007.  See also: my January 2008 headline “WILL MMA SAVE THE REC CENTER?”  Where’s our money, Vince McMahon?

Tagline: MMA: So easy a retarded church orphan could do it.

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