03.01.10 7 years ago • 14 Comments

The Hollywood Reporter today says Angelina Jolie and director Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler, Pi) are in discussions to join Serena, an adaptation of some sort of “book.”

[Based on Ron Rash’s 2008 novel] Set in the rugged mountains of 1929 North Carolina, “Serena” follows a man named George Pemberton and his new bride, Serena, as they create a timber empire. Serena not only takes to the woods [hee hee!], but she also pushes her husband to commit more and more ruthless acts. When she learns she cannot bear a child, Serena sets out to murder the son her husband fathered illegitimately.

The project is quietly making the rounds in its search for financing. Work on the script by Chris Kyle (“The Weight of Water” and “K-19: The Widowmaker”) is also needed before Jolie and Aronofsky can move forward.

I call it “There Will be Wood” because it sounds kind of like There Will be Blood with timber.  Plus the whole Angelia Jolie-boner thing.  I thought it worked.  Anyway, they also report Aronofsky has finished Black Swan, which is rumored to feature, no joke, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis having aggressive, lesbian ballerina sex. He’s also trying to make a Robocop movie.  Now, if he could somehow combine Angelina Jolie, lesbian ballerina sex, and Robocop into one movie– *head explodes*

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