Fox just released the international trailer for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, from Oliver Stone, starring Shia LaBeouf and Michael Douglas. The domestic version didn’t reveal much about the plot, probably because we Americans don’t care about plot, only snuggies and giant sodas. But for the foreigners they provide a longer cut. We find out that Gordon Gekko is out of jail and becomes some sort of celebrity. Meanwhile Shia LaBeouf is busy trying to four-finger blast Gekko’s estranged daughter because she has boy hair. Josh Brolin is a bad guy, which you can tell because he takes Shia on a scary motorcycle ride like Jacob did with Bella. In fact that whole time through the forest I kept expecting him to turn into a giant wolf. That would’ve been so awesome, I’d totally be cleaning the jizz off my Taylor Lautner sex pillow right now. Well, more jizz anyway.
COCAINE AND STOCKS AND SHIA LABEOUF!