Lots of people comment on FilmDrunk, and every once in a while, they’re even funny. Each week, I honor those special Drunkards. Nominate a funny comment for next week’s "Comments of the Week" HERE (post is hidden, so bookmark it).
The comment-related hilarity vis a vis last week was impressive both in scope and intensity. More than a few comments LOL’d my milkshake, and yet, paradoxically, the winner wasn’t the comment that most caressed my funny boner. An invisible hand guided me to choose a winner based on its singular ability to make me go “Whoa” like Keanu Reeves as I marveled at the magnificent truth loaf that had been so perfectly pinched upon my chest.
I described the poster at left as Carrie Bradshaw being attacked by a lion. And though I think Maxim dursted SJP bashing through sheer uncreative douchery, I couldn’t deny that I’d been bested by Stone Soup:
"Working Title: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"
Amazing how that worked out, isn’t it? It’s like he discovered a new The Wall-Wizard of Oz… uh, thing. In fact, though Burnsy and Chodin were swinging the big beef like always, Stone Soup was on fire.
From the Iron Man Stuff From All Over thread: [Speaking of the U2-3D IMAX movie] "It’s just two hours of un-necessary zooms on Bono’s face as he screams ‘Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!’"
From the Jesus is Taking a Dump thread: "But soft, what wind from yonder stall breaks?" [How could I deny a Shakespearian fart joke? –Ed.]
From the Twilight Cast Photo thread: "These douchebag vampires are awfully well groomed for creatures who can’t see themselves in the fucking mirror." [Sometimes it’s not so much that he makes me laugh, it’s that he makes me go, "How the hell did I not think of that?" Congratulations. Cocksucker. –Ed]
Nine out of ten weeks, this would’ve been the winner:
From the Dark Knight Trailer thread, affleckwasthebomb says, "It was probably Ledger’s idea. He was like ‘I f*cked the brother, now I want to f*ck the sister, I’ll f*ck this whole family if it kills me.’…………it did. If you f*ck Gyllenhaals you will die." [I’d include a disclaimer about the views of my commenters not reflecting the views of the Editor here, but the truth is I would’ve said this if I’d thought of it. –Ed.]
And I would’ve picked this next one even if today wasn’t Cinco De Mayo. Probably. I dunno, could be the tequila talking:
From the Towelhead thread: Watanabex says, "I’m currently working on an independent movie called Beaner, about a family of mexican immigrants who work on their lowrider to get it low enough so they don’t have to bend over to pick strawberries." [You’re free to laugh, hippies, he’s Mexican –Ed.]
Chodin also crushed it, as per usual:
From the JD Salinger thread:"Further into his letter, J.D. Salinger writes: …alas, have you been playing this new Atari thing? It makes writing look so f*cking gay- hold on, let me pause this shit." [Most surpising part of the comments in this post? Jacktion! avoiding a "Outta weed? Crap, call up Caufield, I bet he’s Holden." joke. –Ed.]
From the Gary Busey on Prayer Hour thread: "Gary Busey once killed a dragon by throwing a unicorn at it."
Then there were the rape jokes. How could there not be.
From God Tries to Stop G.I. Joe: bryce says,"I swear I’m starting to lose it. I have a training course evaluation to fill out and I thought the last question was ‘How would you rape this course?’ I nearly started writing ‘on a pinball machine while my redneck buddies held it down…’"
From The Escapist: The Mighty Fek’lhr says, "Violent retaliation for rape? What happened to crying in the shower???"
Couple more Salinger jokes…
Burnsy says, "In 60 years someone will buy a letter on eBay that reads: ‘Dor sho ga, Forshak dwellers, The Crystal Skull made Him shit His pants! QAPLAH!’" [Pretty esoteric, but it was hilarious for me and like six other people. –Ed.]
Donkey Hodey says, "I’m auctioning off a text message that may or may not be from Salinger. It reads ‘Leboof iz teh gay’"
Burnsy says, "Salinger’s MySpace name is J.DEEZNUTZ<3DeNeUvE**RIP~LIL HEM." [God I hope there’s more reclusive writer news to report this week.]
From the Dark Knight and Batman Trailers Compared thread: RoboPanda says, "Another fact about this trailer: It syncs up perfectly with ‘What What (in the butt)’ by Samwell."
From the prison movie thread: Eibmoz says, "I fell in love with my cell mate once. But when she started to decompose, so did the magic." [Score one for the FilmDrunkettes]
From Jim Carrey’s Balls: Charlie Bronze says, "Dear Diary: Spent 5 minutes studying a photo of Jim Carrey’s ballbag. My life is fantastic. Dear Dairy: Just the one pint of semi-skimmed tomorrow and half a dozen eggs if you’ve got ’em."
From the Hamlet 2 Poster thread: Donkey Hodey says,
"Laertes: Man, bitches ain’t shit!
Rosencrantz: I feel ya, man
Laertes: What the f*ck did you just say about my sister?
Guildenstern: Chill out man, he said "I feel ya" not "Ophelia"
Damn, I must admit that for a bunch of tasteless poop-joke lovers, you guys really have a knack for the literary stuff. You cracked me up. Drunk On.