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Entertainment Editor
08.18.09 29 Comments


Welcome to another installment of FilmDrunk’s ongoing one-sided love affair with Diora Baird (nude pics here, NSFW, obviously).  CHUD  reports:

I don’t follow many celebrities on Twitter anymore – most of them are dull as hell – but Diora Baird is a bright spot in my daily feed. Funny, smart and raunchy, Baird’s tweets are always worth reading. And yesterday they got semi-newsworthy.

Baird tweeted this:

Had an audition for the movie Thor today. Character description was ‘pretty, but sturdy with muscle’. Damn type casting.

I tried to get her to spill the beans as to who she would be playing, but all she would say was

I cant say. I’ll go to jail. For real. Had to sign my soul away.

Here’s her twitter, and I’ll post some of the more interesting tweefs below:

  • I guess I “mock” myself then. And by “mock” I mean “make love to”.
  • I am a human masturbatory aid. Dream #14, check.
  • Im happy to pop your cherry.
  • Im always here with a dildo joke.
  • Watch me jiggle my boobs at http://bit.ly/13Tm29 I know, Im quite the intellectual.
  • Girl:’Can I have your autograph?’ Me:’Sure'(as Im signing) Oh, wait. Thats not my vagina’. It was Kristy Swasnsons’! Does my vagina look 40?
  • Yeah, poop is the best odor. Gonna start a perfume line called ‘Ass’.
  • Just saw a movie and I’m almost positive the old man sitting next to me shat himself.
  • Thanks! I would love as many pantless followers as possible.
  • A new strain of HIV was found in a woman in Paris. It came from a gorilla. People! Enough with the monkey f-cking already! Goats are better.

And that’s just in the past five days.  I can’t believe she has fewer than 1,300 stalkers followers.

~ robopanda

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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