Senior Editor
08.27.09 65 Comments

Today’s Forgotten Classic is Bailey’s Billions — sorry, check that, Baileys Billion$, from 2005.  Bailey is a golden retriever, you see, and he has inherited a fortune from his late owner, much to the chagrin of her evil, greedy son, Tim Curry and his wife Jennifer Tilly, playing the same roles they did in Home Alone and Liar Liar, respectively. Bailey becomes CEO of the company, “My new boss is a golden retriever!” says Laurie Holden, while Tim Curry plots revenge in ridiculous clothes and Dean Cain talks to animals.  Oh, and did I mention the dog is voiced by Jon Lovitz?  (*spreads peanut butter on balls*)

Sadly there are no record scratch sound effects, but there is a (*sproi-yoing*) and some gratuitous dog-wearing-sunglass footage. Dogs wearing sunglasses are to me like firewater is to an Indian. They’re the reason I can’t hold a job.

Thanks to Johnny Utah for the tip.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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