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05.16.08 38 Comments

After the jump you’ll find an awesomely creepy commercial for a Korean bidet by Woongjin called a "LooLoo."  Malarky, or effective way?

A guy I know was visiting coworkers in Korea and found one of these bidets in their bathroom (as opposed to in their living room, which is where I keep all my bidets).  He says the buttons were confusing, and certain buttons would actually change the fragrance of the water.  

Right there I’d be jumping through a shoji screen like the Kool Aid Man and yelling obscenities on my way out of that house, but not this guy.  He had to investigate further into this fragrance option.   He said none of the scents were familiar to him.  None of them. 

The LooLoo is going to replace Lisa Rinna’s lips in my nightmares.

I need to go look at a picture of chisled hunk Bruce Greenwood to forget this.  Oh, Bruce, I wish I could quit you. (No I don’t.) RoboPanda

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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