GARY BUSEY WILL FEED YOUR METER

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11.03.08 25 Comments

As I’ve been trying to tell anyone who will listen, Celebrity Rehab has Gary “I’ve got to give someone a buck knife” Busey this season, and he’s almost too good to be true.  The Soup got a hold of this clip, which I’d been trying to find.  At the beginning, Busey tells the snorting-coke-off-his-dog story that people can’t go a week without sending me even though it’s at least ten years old, but more importantly, at the 1:07 mark it gives us a glimpse of what Gary Busey carries in his briefcase: matches, chapstick, highlighters, and about $20 worth of spare change.  You know, important business stuff.

In the last episode, Dr. Drew diagnoses Busey as having damaged the “filtration system” that keeps him from acting on every impulse — brilliant analysis there, Poindexter — and puts him on a medication called Depakote.  So help me God, f-ckers, if you ruin Busey I will hunt you down.  Take away the batshit and what else is there? Batshit, do you even know what that stands for? Busey Always Touches Snake Hearts In Terabithia.

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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