HOLY CRAP THIS SUCKS A LOT

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Senior Editor
08.19.08 54 Comments

After the jump, I’ve got the new red-band trailer for Death Race.  Here’s my impression of it:  Blur! Cut! Smash! Rap rock guitars! Oh, ‘allo.  Moy name ees Jason Stafam.  Explosion! Face punch! Oof! Blur! Rap Rock!  Rightio, oy fink oy’ll taike me shir’ off now.  Gunshots! Blur! Impalement! Record Scratching!  Blur! Tits! Cut! Mohawk!  Gratuitous ass shot!  Guns n Roses!  Car stats! Pow!

I understand the appeal of a tits and fire car porno, even if it’s a remake of an idea that’s already been used a thousand times.  But does anyone actually like this epilepsy editing and parkinson’s disease camera work?  Film a dog taking a dump if you want, but at least hold the goddamned camera steady.  

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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