IRON MAN CORNHOLES THE COMPETITION

Senior Editor
05.05.08 13 Comments

Iron turned to gold in countless crappy headlines today as Iron Man earned $100.7 million in its opening weekend, the second-best premiere ever for a nonsequel.

The film also scored overseas with $96.7 million in 57 countries where it began opening Wednesday, putting its worldwide total at $201 million.

If you’re looking to score overseas, I say start with England because those chicks are sluts.  Anyway, despite Iron Man‘s glowing reviews and record showing, today’s news wasn’t all bubble gum and puppy queefs, said Buzzkill Partyfoul.

Hollywood’s overall business was down compared to the same weekend last year, when "Spider-Man 3" had a record debut of $151.1 million. The top 12 movies took in $154.1 million, off 15 percent from a year ago. [AP]

The second place movie, Made of Honor, grossed just $15.5 million.  Disappointing considering its great contribution to the pantheon of great cinema.

“’MADE of Honor" is something old, it’s something new, it’s something borrowed and it’s something that blows,”

…said Kyle Smith of the always classy New York Post.  Okay I’m not gonna lie, that was a pretty sweet lede.  Kudos, fellow nose thumber.  But $100 says it was originally written "something borrowed and something that blew" before some jackass at the copy desk got ahold of it and decided the tense wasn’t right. Way to fight the good fight there, douche, you’re goin’ places.

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