HollywoodLife reports that Lindsay Lohan will go topless for her role in Robert Rodriguez’ Machete opposite Danny Trejo, who probably almost stabbed me at Sundance. She’ll be in a skinny-dipping scene opposite her onscreen mom, which I’d originally, mistakenly read as her real mom, hence the photoshop and headline. I regret nothing.
HollywoodLife.com got a hold of the original Machete script, and as of now, Lindsay – who has about 10 minutes of screen time as gun-toting socialite April Benz – is slated to get wet and naked while swimming in a waterfall with Alicia Rachel Marek, 34, [the chick on the right in the picture above before I photoshopped it (NSFW)] who plays her mother, June. [via WWTDD]
It’s sad that Lindsay’s only 23 and still a good two years removed from a time when I would’ve cared about seeing her topless. It seems like every Hollywood actress spends the first 10 years of her career turning down nude scenes only to beg for them after she’s past her prime and desperate for attention. So let this be a lesson to you, young actresses: show off the goods while the nectar’s still sweet. This is how you’re going to be remembered. It’s a message I try to drill into middle schoolers every day.