If you’re anything like me, you’re stuck in your crappy apartment with kleenex boxes on your feet this weekend while everyone else hobnobs with film snobs at the festivals in Utah. Luckily, there’s nothing like the internet for simulating actual human interaction. Over on iTunes, you can download ten short films playing at Sundance for free. Meanwhile, a site called Indieroad allows you to stream films from the Slamdance Film Festival at the same time they screen at the festival, and even be a part of the voting. I’ve never heard of any of the small films playing there, but there is a short entitled Horsefingers 3: The Starf-cker. I wonder how many sequels they’ll get through before they realize horses don’t have fingers. Though I suppose you can finger them. But then, shouldn’t it be The Horsefingerer? Where was Quality Control on this? Anyway, when it comes to simulating the Utah experience, this sure beats pretending to be ashamed after you masturbate.
OMG, IT’S ALMOST LIKE YOU’RE THERE!
Phillip Barnett 12.08.16 15 hours ago