Senior Editor
11.14.07 123 Comments

A while ago, I brought you the strange, strange news that Sly Stallone was hoping to make an Edgar Allen Poe biopic, for which he also wrote the screenplay.

Today, CinemaBlend is reporting that some dude on the internet a reliable source has told them that Stallone offered the Poe part to Viggo Mortensen. 

Damn, dude, besides this, Stallone’s also reportedly considering a Death Wish remake (awesome idea), another Rambo (not so much), a role in the upcoming Scorsese/LeHane picture (I’m with you again), and God knows what else.  Plus he’s got his brother Frank to feed, and that ain’t cheap.  It’s like he’s trying to be superman, or he’s all full of steroids or something.  What? What’d I say? Where’s everyone going?  I GOT PLENTY A ZINGERS WHERE THAT CAME FROM, A-HOLES!

Also, my friend Glen told me he read somewhere that Stallone’s actually kind of old.  If you were wondering why the Edgar Allen Poe thing sounded familiar, it’s because the Scott brothers are also producing a screen adaptation of The Tell-Tale Heart, so the Edgar Allen Poe thing is kinda hot right now. In other news, your emo poems still suck.  Quit threatening to kill yourself and just do it – but remember, Up the River not Across the Street.

Around The Web