7:58 p.m. ET If rumors are any indication, Thursday (Aug. 13) may go down as one of the wackiest “Big Brother” episodes ever. Since I trust rumors implicitly, I’m gonna be live-blogging this sucker, just in case something crazy happens. That isn’t necessarily a strategy that worked out well when I decided to live-blog executive sessions at Television Critics Association press tour, but one can hope!
7:59 p.m. Full recap after the break, though I also want to thank Liane Bonin for all of the tremendous filling-in while I was Comic-Conning and TCAing.
7:59 p.m. Can anybody with a live-feed verify something for me? Has Jeff been standing in the bathroom repeating “coup d’etat, coup d’etat, coup d’etat” to himself over and over again? And has anybody on the production staff told him what language the words come from? Or what they mean? I’m not saying that Jeff isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but, um, he’s stupid.
8:02 p.m. Will Jeff use his wizard-unicorn-Smurf coup d’etat, or will the coup d’etat become the “Big Brother” equivalent of the Judge’s Save on “American Idol”? Let’s find out, with our matronly friend Julie Chen.
8:03 p.m. I miss Russell’s facial hair, which went back and forth between beard, ‘stache, goatee and more. Clean-shaven, he’s forced to resort to hats to maintain interest.
8:04 p.m. Why yes, Jeff. We’re a bit sleepy also.
8:05 p.m. Kevin is still rationalizing his decision not to use the Power of Veto on Lydia, a move she dubs “totally bogus.” Chima, though, disagrees, stopping short of calling it “most excellent” or “totally righteous.” She thinks she has the power. She’s sure she has the power. This, non-English majors, is what we call “hubris.”
8:06 p.m. Is anybody else amused by how resigned Jessie has been since he first heard about “the wizard power”? He hasn’t had any fun for over a week. He’d be experiencing deja vu if, like Jeff, her weren’t a bit French challenged.
8:07 p.m. Jeff is bluffing that he doesn’t have the mystery power, even though Kevin and several other houseguests are completely certain he has the power. Natalie and Jessie, convinced the mystery power resides with either Jordan or Jeff, decide to spend the day outside ferreting out the secret. Even Jordan is smart enough to know there’s something fishy about Jessie and Natalie’s new-found interest, dubbing it “something scandalous.” And she vows to get to the bottom of things. Ladies and Gentlemen, Encyclopedia Jordan.
8:10 p.m. Russell plays the gender card, trying to get Jessie’s support, but Jessie is still smarting from Russell not picking him for the PoV. Russell vows to “ride his ass” until Jessie comes around. Yes. That’s how he puts it. Russell’s so desperate he even turns to Michele for support. Fortunately, the editors are around to remind us that just days earlier, Russell was instructing Michele that she required psychiatric help.
8:13 p.m. Ah. It’s been at least one episode since Russell got up in somebody’s face and started yelling at them. Jessie, though, is too depressed to back down. He’s just like a muscle-bound Eeyore. Poor gloomy Jessie.
8:14 p.m. Chima and Jessie are fantasizing about a 6-0 vote against Russell. She vows that if Jeff uses the mystery power and uses it on Russell, he’ll see her “wild animal style.” For those who don’t know, “wild animal style” is what you request at In-n-Out when you want your double-double on a sliced Krispy Kreme donut. It isn’t? Well, darnit, it should be.
8:18 p.m. Live houseguest conversation time. She asks the houseguests who’s nervous. Only three or four hands go up. Kevin’s hand? Not up. Because he’s the PoV holder. He gets, once again, to rationalize not using it on Lydia, who hesitates, but announces that she still loves her Kevvy Bear. We’re at the half-way point, which means that everybody will either be in the Top Two or the Jury.
8:20 p.m. Natalie says she was surprised by the boredom. Jeff wants to say that the game is a mindf***, but Julie prevents him. There’s a fetus listening, Jeff! Or did you think Julie was covering her shoulders as part of a new fashion trend? Heck no! She’s a modest momma now.
8:21 p.m. Chima’s grandmother. Blah blah. Chima says she isn’t a diva, that she’s “slightly high maintenance.” She’s a princess. Blah blah.
8:28 p.m. Chima has no regrets on anything she said to or about Russell and she laments their long-lost friendship. Or maybe she doesn’t.
8:29 p.m. Last chance, Jeff… Will you use the power of Coup d’etat?
8:30 p.m. Jeff stands!!!! Nobody is shocked. Jessie’s eyes look like they’re about to pop out of their head in rage.
8:31 p.m. Actually, Jordan’s shocked. Then again, hair-driers, de-caf coffee and fish all shock Jordan as well.
8:31 p.m. Jeff takes Lydia off the block! And he replaces her with Natalie.
8:32 p.m. Jeff takes Russell off the block! And he replaces him with Jessie!
8:32 p.m. Jeff tells Natalie and Jessie that it’s just a game and tells them to feel the pain a little bit. He politely urges them to “enjoy.” Chima, as former HoH doesn’t get to vote. Jeff doesn’t get to vote either.
8:33 p.m. Natalie looks shell-shocked and her voice cracks as she pleads her case. Jessie, calling this “worst case scenario,” tips his hat at Jeff. Even though he says he saw this coming, he doesn’t have much of a speech prepared.
8:35 p.m. Lydia votes first and votes against Natalie.
8:35 p.m. Jordan, without any coaching, votes to evict Jessie. I hope she and Jeff were simpatico on this.
8:36 p.m. Kevin votes to evict Jessie.
8:36 p.m. Michele seals Jessie’s fate.
8:36 p.m. Russell casts a meaningless vote against Natalie.
8:41 p.m. Jessie doesn’t look surprised when Julie announces his fate. He saw this coming. In a dream? Just like Patricia Arquette on “Medium.”
8:42 p.m. Jessie pumps himself up for his reunion with Julie, as Lydia bawls in the house.
8:42 p.m. Jessie thinks America just hates him. He’s initially hyper, but it’s just an adrenaline rush. Soon, Julie is lecturing him about why he didn’t play harder. Jessie flexes in resignation. And poor Jessie doesn’t even get messages from the houseguests.
8:47 p.m. Time for the Head of Household competition. The game is called “Hit the Road” and requires vague memories of previous competitions they’ve had this summer. It seems that because of the coup, both Chima and Jeff are still eligible?
8:49 p.m. Russell and Lydia are the first eliminated, followed by Natalie and Jordan.
8:51 p.m. Chima will not be repeating as HoH. And Michele takes out Jeff, meaning that power will be in new hands this week.
8:51 p.m. Michele is your new Head of Household. Somewhere, Darth Ronnie is moaning in agony.
8:55 p.m. Next Thursday? A double-eviction episode!
So what did you think of the way the Coup d’Etat played out? Was it worth it?