I've been sitting here for over an hour looking for ANYTHING that's one-tenth as compelling as the Cardinals' Chernobyl… and no such thing exists. I can't even fathom what it must be like to actually be a fan of the Cardinals, the gut-punchingest, most sucktastic franchise in the NFL.
I suppose, on the other side of things, some people want to give the Bears some credit. Fuck that noise. I mean, sure, the defense toughened up and came up with some big plays, but that game was 95% Denny Green, 5% Neil Rackers. Rex Grossman erased five games of awesomeness with the bloody dump he took all over the field last night. If I were a Bears fan I'd be secretly ashamed of that win.
That game is in my head today like LFO's "Summer Girl" circa August 1999.
The Bears defense had a bunch of hits
Rex Grossman made me sick
And I think it's fly when Orton stops by
After that stunner, that stunner
Denny Green needs to be left dead in a ditch
I'd kill him if I had one wish
But he's still coaching after that stunner, what a stunner
God. Fucking kill me now.