OK, Tom Porras never made it to the NFL, but he did play in every other professional football league — the CFL, AFL, and USFL. Well, now Mr. Porras is in it a bit of trouble:
Scottsdale Unified School District officials said police were investigating alleged improper off-campus conduct between Tom Porras and a 17-year-old Saguaro High student at Porras' home Wednesday. Porras, 49, made admissions to the sexual abuse incident while being interviewed, police said.
Apparently, those other professional leagues don't pay as well as the NFL because Porras is now a substitute teacher at Saguaro High. There are other CFL star QBs at the school, but they're full-timers. For instance, Porras subs for Doug Flutie in Physics class where the curriculum largely consists of the speed of gravity's effect on the bomb to Phelan, and for Warren Moon's English class where the pupils craft apology letters to their future spouses. As usual, the next door neighbor was shocked:
"I think it's hard to imagine that somebody would bring somebody home, especially a girl that age."
Really? I can imagine it. Not that I have imagined it before now. I mean you're forced to imagine it when somebody challenges you not to imagine it. Right? Oh man, my confessor is not going to like this. -KD