Former SportsCenter anchor-turned-media pundit Keith Olbermann is the target of this "missed connection" Craigslist ad, the only w4m ad in Chicago not intended for dark and mysterious With Leather reader Brian. Here it is, unedited and in its entirety:
oh baby, you are in my city this fine day, doing the thing you do best. and i wanna be with you. that's right, i do. i want to put my fingers through your salt and pepper hair and pick your nimble brain all. night. long. i'd take off those glasses and show you what it is like to be a man, yes i would. and i'd use that sharp tongue in the best possible way: to get a smart, witty analysis on lobbyist contributions, unity governments and the bush administration. let's curl up on the couch and watch bill o'reilly together and laugh and laugh. let's hang out with dan patrick. let's make our OWN special commentary. if you know what i mean. i wanna see your alex gordon rookie card. whip it out for me. please baby, i will treat you right.
I'm not an expert — only the world's third most experienced lover — but I think Alex Gordon's rookie card is some kind metaphor for something. Hey, wait a sec. She's going to show him what it's like to be a man??? Keith, just between you and me, don't respond to that ad. This gal may have an Alex Gordon rookie card of her own. Whatever that means. I'm still trying to figure that one out.