With Saturday night's Ohio State-Penn State matchup quickly approaching, some folks are worried about the inadequate numbers of portable toilets available to the 100,000 or so genteel folk of western Pennsylvania and Ohio that will converge on Beaver Stadium for tailgate festivities.
“The number of comfort stations being provided currently is woefully inadequate from a health and safety standpoint,” Brumbaugh’s letter says. “The handful of comfort stations in the parking lots are, quite literally, full and overflowing with human waste creating untold potential health and safety problems for PSU football patrons and, ultimately, the general public.”
While the athletic department assured fans that it had responded to their most urgent needs, I'm confident that the fine people in attendance won't let a little extra fecal matter get in their way of a good time on Saturday night.
Because they're a buncha goddam animals. Why the hell are wildfires going after attractive people in California when Ohio and Pennsylvania produce so many more assholes? God's a real dick sometimes.