'OH, WE'RE WEARING RED TONIGHT?'
DISCLAIMERS FOR THE MODERN MOVIE

GOLF: TIGER MAKES WHITEY CHOKE

By / 02.01.08

This is how I stand on golf. Yes, golf is a sport. No, the PGA is not a professional sports league. You have too many assholes in there that are happy just to take home a check, happy just to make a cut. They think they're in some fucking club, and they get all shitty about it when some outsider comes into a tournament to compete for their own piece of the pie. 

Anyway, it looks like Joel Waldfogel from Slate points to a study that determined that players, on average, play a stroke per round worse when Tiger is in the field. And I thought, "Hang on, a stroke per round isn't very much, but I really want to have 289 do a picture of Tiger riding past the lynching tree with the first President Bush." So I said fuck it, but then I thought, "Hang on, my neighbors are really cool during the day, but I really am going to drown that dog in his own kiddie pool if he starts barking again tonight." My goodness, these bagels are delicious.

In other golf news, some dude got a DUI in a golf cart at the Phoenix PGA tournament and a blind guy hit a hole in one. And there's your golf post for February. Stick that in your Waldfogel and smoke it.

-  Monday Morning Punter

[Slate] 


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