GUY IN A BUNNY SUIT HATES BARISTAS
FOX MIGHT PAIR HAYSEED QUARTERBACKS

CHEER COACH JAILED FOR BEING AWESOME

By / 05.12.08

Jennifer Mally, a 27-year-old teacher and cheerleading coach in Arizona, has been sentenced to six months in prison after being convicted of having sex with a minor.  The "victim," a 16-year-old male student, must now try to go on living a normal life, haunted by all those memories of when he was a horny high school student and got seduced by the older, experienced cheerleading coach in her mid-twenties.  I can't even imagine all the mental scarring he doesn't have.

The Arizona Republic, obviously knowing that I was going to lift parts of the story for a blog post, kindly set the table for double entendres:

Several people, including members of her cheer squad, her pastor and her husband, spoke in her defense. They described a fun-loving, committed teacher who went the extra mile to help with academic and personal problems.

Personal problems such as "morning wood."

One of them said, "Her door was always open, her heart was always open."

I swear to God I saw this exact story acted out on Naughty Athletics the other day.  It's like the Law & Order of porn sites.  Any time you see a teacher sex crime in the headlines, you can bet it's only a matter of time until Rachel Starr does some private tutoring.  Usually in the locker room shower.

[Sports by Brooks


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