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BULLDOG GETS BETTER BURIAL THAN YOU WILL

By 06.30.08

Georgia mascot Uga VI, also known as Uga V's Whatchagot Loran (Giterdone Masterson being taken by a rival southern school), died Friday as Orson Swindle described most Georgians will: "pantsless, lacking a high school degree, and suffering from a heart attack." Unlike the rest of the Peach Staters, maybe save Jimmy Carter, he's getting himself one a' them classy like interments.

Like his five predecessors, Uga VI will be interred in specially-built marble vault built into the side of the south grandstands just inside the main gate of the southwest side of the stadium. According to UGA, it is the only school that buries its mascots within the confines of the stadium.

As of Sunday afternoon, there were nearly 600 entries in Uga VI's guestbook on ajc.com.

Most were from Georgia fans offering condolences to the Seilers and thanking them for their efforts. Then there was "Lucy," who claimed to be a Maltese from North Port, Fla.

"Arf, arf, old friend," she wrote.

Nice to see one of his old bitches checking in on the 'tubes. Except "arf" isn't really a bark of despair. It's pretty upbeat, almost buoyant. Like maybe this dog had a thing for Whatchagot. They shared a fleeting moment, a mutual sniff of the anus, but he just couldn't commit to a different breed in a different state. Lucy has held onto that spite, allowing it to twist her emotions. Maybe she'll never let it do.

Yeah, I'm concocting narratives for dogs. My life is turning more into Half Baked everyday.


TAGSGEORGIA BULLDOGS

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