It's no secret that Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson are the two best golfers in the world, separated only by a metaphorical ocean of desire and concentration that Mickelson will never have. It's also no secret that the two have, at best, a chilly relationship. So it's definitely intriguing (relatively, for the golf world) that the two would be paired together for the first two rounds of next week's U.S. Open at Torrey Pines. The stated goal is to have golfers of similar talent playing at the same time to lessen the effect of weather on the outcome, but FanHaus's delicious, delicious Shane Bacon feels otherwise:
Tiger and Phil both live in California and have an enormous fan base there, so people are going to be mauling each other trying to see these two playing together. The galleries are going to be Woodstock thick, which will be bad for any golfer playing a passing hole or any of the groups behind or in front of the two.
Full tee times will be released today, but their plan is to have the top 12 golfers in the world all paired together and clumped together in four different tee times. Could you imagine being a top 12 golfer and drawing the group in front of the Big Three [Mickelson, Woods, and Adam Scott]? You wouldn't have a shot all day without someone running ahead of you or cheering behind you. It's going to be chaos.
Chaos on the golf course! People will be elbowing quietly to stay off the long stretches of perfectly manicured grass! Absolute silence will be difficult to maintain! Holy fuck, call the National Guard!