Things aren’t going all that well for Newcastle United. After club legend Kev Keegan resigned in disgust, Joe Kinnear was named the interim manager while owner Mike Ashley (this demure wallflower) sells the team. Kinnear took offense to some of the things written about him during his first week, and his first press conference went a little something like this:
Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird?
Kinnear: You’re a cunt.
Bird: Thank you.
It gets better from there; Kinnear embarks on a carpet-F-bombing mission, dropping 52 of them over the course of 13 minutes. Only four per minute? Pussy. Also, if you can listen to the entire thing without wandering off and doing something else, you deserve the Ritalin Attention Span Award. I always thought I could listen to people going off and swearing all day, but apparently it’s more like two minutes. But then, my attention span was never very DOGGIE! Who’s a good dog?!? You are! Oh, you want a belly rub? Yes you do!