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Breaking: JaMarcus Russell Is Fat

By 04.27.10

jamarcus russell gabourey sidibeRaiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell does his job much like you do yours–he’s easily distracted, eats too much, and has terrific taste in online sports literature. Yeah, I’m sure that JaMarcus reads With Leather. It’s like Ebony for fat people. Anyway…

According to a league source with knowledge of the situation in Oakland, the hefty quarterback has beefed up to 300 pounds.

We’re also told that the former LSU star isn’t getting good advice from his family.

“It’s a drag on the kid and they encourage his poor lifestyle,” an NFL source told National Football Post.

Russell was the No. 1 overall pick by the Raiders in 2007, and to call him a bust seems generous. One can only expect him to get even fatter when he sits on the bench behind Jason Campbell this fall. I saw a fat guy get on an airplane once, and I felt really bad for him trying to squeeze into one of these tiny window seats. At least…I did until the plane took off and could only fly around in circles. No mini-pretzels for you, sir.


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